a walk through hell

And if I was brave, I'd climb up to you on the mountain,
They led you to drink from their fountain spouting lies.
And I'd slay the horrible beast they commissioned
To steer me away from my mission to your eyes.
And I'd stand there, like a soldier, with my foot upon his chest,
With my grin spread, and my arms out, in my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And you'd hold me; I'd remind you who you are under their shell.

- "A Walk Through Hell" by Say Anything

I wish I could be more lyrical as of late.
I don't even really care if that's proper grammar. I wish I could be inspired enough to write songs. The only songs I'd written were in anger and although they felt really good and turned out well, I don't want to write music to them.
I don't feel very deep, either.
I mean...I am not shallow.
I'm more like the 5 foot depth in the middle of a pool. Not the deep end, but not ridiculously shallow.
I haven't been able to put my feelings into music lately. It's going into drawing and stuff...
Ms. Edwards asked me to draw the dance program thingy. I'm not entirely sure what it's for, I wasn't the most aware when she asked me, but I'm drawing it and what I'm drawing she says she likes. We'll see.
I wish I could speak French, or at least understand a teensy bit more. I mean, I understand alright to begin with, and it helps that I'm getting much better at Spanish (ROMANCE LANGUAGES!), but it never hurts.
I feel kind of foolish and giddy lately. I'm excited for something to change, for everything. I mentioned this earlier today. At the same time, I want everyone to be happy, right here and now. The juju spiderweb has been up and down lately, people have been having the times of their lives while also managing to juggle other problems including internal ones and those of other people.
I want to do everything in my power to help them, while also living my own life and doing what I want to. Within reason, of course.

I don't know what I'm trying to say.

Today was great. Mykaila, Taylor Du, and I were joined by Elly and Elly's lovely friend whose name escapes me in Mirczak's office. We talked about uteri and vaginae, and did a uterus dance. Talked about suicide, ghosts, lactose intolerance, juggling, dreadlocks, quesadillas, Eastside Catholic, Winterball, dimes...Elly and Lovely Friend left a tad early. (Kate? Marie?)
It took two whole hours to get to Mykaila's house from school. TWO HOURS. On a normal day, it would be a half-hour journey. Nonsense. I guess people don't know how to drive in the rain?
Mykaila and I came up with something for kidnapping.
We watch Aristocats! We've already matched the characters to the people. Alexa is O'Malley, of course. Sheila is Uncle Waldo, in the most loving way possible. Elly is Dutchess. Xanda is Scat Cat. Maria's the mouse...Roquefort, I think his name is? Morgan is one of the boy kittens, the one that goes FTFTFTFT! and hisses and spits. :D
Alright, enough. It's going to be awesome.

Ho crap. It's bedtime!


Love.