jaguar love

my favorite picture of myself. I don't know why.
August 2008. I'd gotten two hours of sleep in three days...it was about 2 in the afternoon when my mother came in laughing at me and took a photo documenting my "finally being a teenager." I suppose because teenagers all sleep in until 2 pm?
My room looks so different now. I'm doing my little mural in the space next to my window.
I remember I moved my bed because I needed change. Before that, it was parallel to the wall on the left. But I'd gotten out of a nasty relationship and I decided it was time to rip everything down, move everything around. I got an ugly, unbelievably comfortable chair at Goodwill and that's what my mother was sitting in when she took the photo. I woke up at the flash. Before my aunt died. After Warped Tour; the stamps from that band Sunstreak (the stamps said "STREAKER") were on my arms. Marisol and I were covered in them.
Hmmm.
HM HM HM.
is all I have to say. Other than:
"STD payphone hanging off my face. The roomie's got me on hold and damn, why am I such a disgrace?"
Mykaila and I were earlier discussing how we would look back on these times and the word to describe them would be "hilarious". I said clusterfuck, but I think hilarious works better.
A.D.D.-riddled blog posts today.
I think if I typed how I thought, without punctuation or real words or anything, I would be absolutely incomprehensible. It is actually physically impossible for me to type how I think...I think in images, not words. Image example: if someone mentions Elly, I think of her face spreading into a smile, but not specific personality traits?...I don't know. Not anything else. If someone mentions Mykaila, I think of her smiling as well, oddly enough, but coupled with her laugh. Of my mother, I see the right side of her face as she's driving. Semi-photographic memory at its best, I guess. So I think in images, unless what I'm thinking is an "idea", which is what I call advice or consolation or reasoning. In my mind an idea is...not in words, but it would be an all around concept. Also, my thoughts flash by too fast for me to write them all down in time to catch the next one. That's why I forget everything so quickly, short-term, at least. I almost always remember later. OH, PERFECT EXAMPLE. I remember now running up to Elly in the upper 800 printer alcove during Geometry and having to ask her about Laura, but as soon as I saw her I forgot because when I saw her I thought of my MIND image of her, the smiling thing. Then I had to reign my mind back to where it was supposed to be, like the WOW I SMELL BURNING PLAYDOUGH. Okay, so it's kind of like meditation. Letting your mind wander, and then always bringing it back.
Okay, so. My mind is officially pretzeled. I don't think I've ever that thought process into words before.


WHOA SHIT. I have lots of homework. I'm going to do that.
Okay okay okay. Hasta luego.