and now i'm ready to be extraordinary.

Things are looking up. I've said this before, but I'm starting to believe it now. Do you ever get that? Where things aren't necessarily great at the moment, but there's still this undeniable sense of optimism? It's not even sunny, I'm sick, and I'm still grounded, so it's not just the outside things. Maybe it's something within myself. Mykaila and Grace were talking about being sentimental a couple of days ago. I wondered if maybe I'd mistaken a lapse in sentimentality for shallowness. Because I know, I feel that I still have the capacity. I guess I just don't have a whole lot to say. Don't hold it against me?
I mean, you don't need to be sentimental to be a person. I just felt like I was missing something naturally inside me, but now that I've identified it, maybe it will be returning soon.
I mean, this is the third trimester of my sophomore year. How insane is that? Seventh grade feels like yesterday. The warm cloudy evenings of August 2005 (2005!!), our screams of "SHITHOLE!" with complete abandon, the Rockstars and buckets of cookie dough. The best times of my life so far, and they feel like yesterday. I suppose now could be the best times of my life as well, if I make them so. I didn't have to try then. Maybe I don't have to try now. I have so, so very much that I love in my life, so so so much that dwarfs the bad. Maybe I haven't realized it fully yet.
But, you know, it'll happen, eventually.
This school year will be over within nine weeks or so, and then off Mykaila and I go to South Africa! WHOA. South Africa! Last night at the "college chat," Ms. Bernstein was talking about community service projects outside of school, and my mind immediately jumped to South Africa. I have a feeling it won't just be a community service project, though. I don't know what else it would be, because that's what it is basically, but you don't go on a month trip to South Africa with your freshman history teacher's wife and her students without it being something more. Maybe I'm on crack.

As I posted on Public Indecency, I feel the strongest urge to wiggle my toes in some sand. Maybe I'll convince my father to drive me to Shilshole. Maybe this weekend I can see Zach. I feel like I need to hang out with a genie like him right now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JAFAR.
Okay cool.
I'm going to shower and take a nap. I love you.