Necesito trabajar en mi proyectos de espanol y ingles. Tengo mucha tarea esta fin de semana.
Mis padres se pelean ahora, pero mi madre todavia quiere ir a la cabana. Por que? Porque ella "se ama". Pendejada.
Anyway.
I don't know what I'm doing today. I need to do lots and lots of homework, but I want to see Kay, but I don't know if my father will have the generosity to accept her because she has nowhere else to go this weekend. He'll think I'm making shit up.
God, Spanish is so much prettier than English.
I'm going to draw something today. I have some awesome colored pencils that have been neglected for the past couple of months. Last time I used them was the night before Preston and I broke up I believe, but no more of that. I'm going to color lots. Haha, I have muchos pencils left over from Segall's geography thing last year, because I kept losing some and buying new ones and finding the old ones and yeah.
Oh I will be in an octopus's garden today.
TENGO MI TELEFONO BACK TODAY!
Pero solamente hasta la noche, I think.
Lo siento a todas las personas que no pueden comprenderme.
Or to the people who can understand me but are pained by my grammar.
Must go.
I love you.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
you spin my head right round, right nound...
Like vines we intertwined
Carelessly growing up and growing old
Life was on our tongues
It tasted heavenly, so good
I went to a Hush Sound show once on August 1st? 2nd? The day after I got home from England this summer. I'd gotten zero sleep for like 3 days and pretty much passed out on top of Marisol (whom I was going with). It was a great show though...I miss going to shows. Mrow, maybe I'll start again soon.
Anyway.
Today's beautiful. There's still some residual snow, which makes the roads all nasty and dirty and slippery, but other than that...the sun's out!
I was talking to my mother and Preston about eras. Like when I think of the era we're in now I think of cold grey metal and silk ties, but when I think of the sixties I think of sunshine and dry grass. I guess that's a pretty cliche thing to think, but I do.
I've been listening to Nelly Furtado like a fiend lately. Her least-publicized second album, Folklore, I mean. I got it for Christmas in 2003(?), my brother gave it to me, and I listened to it nonstop for the entire time that we lived in France that winter. Now I'm always reminded of the foggy windows of our old Subaru stationwagon and autostradas going to Switzerland.
It's by far my favorite album out of the three. Four? Three. However many she has.
I'm in Religion class right now and I should be working on some homework of sorts, but I heard this song and I had to document my nostalgia.
Where we lived:
Albertville, France.
Near Grignon.
Amazing, covered in snow.
We stayed in the basement apartment of a family of three. I spoke French to them and the daughter spoke English to me.
There were lots of cows and roosters, but not in a grimy unhappy sort of way that some people think of when they see farms. They just had a couple chickens for eggs in the morning and cows for milk.
:) Amazing.
I'm hungry, need to call my mother re: dance company later.
I love you.
Carelessly growing up and growing old
Life was on our tongues
It tasted heavenly, so good
I went to a Hush Sound show once on August 1st? 2nd? The day after I got home from England this summer. I'd gotten zero sleep for like 3 days and pretty much passed out on top of Marisol (whom I was going with). It was a great show though...I miss going to shows. Mrow, maybe I'll start again soon.
Anyway.
Today's beautiful. There's still some residual snow, which makes the roads all nasty and dirty and slippery, but other than that...the sun's out!
I was talking to my mother and Preston about eras. Like when I think of the era we're in now I think of cold grey metal and silk ties, but when I think of the sixties I think of sunshine and dry grass. I guess that's a pretty cliche thing to think, but I do.
I've been listening to Nelly Furtado like a fiend lately. Her least-publicized second album, Folklore, I mean. I got it for Christmas in 2003(?), my brother gave it to me, and I listened to it nonstop for the entire time that we lived in France that winter. Now I'm always reminded of the foggy windows of our old Subaru stationwagon and autostradas going to Switzerland.
It's by far my favorite album out of the three. Four? Three. However many she has.
I'm in Religion class right now and I should be working on some homework of sorts, but I heard this song and I had to document my nostalgia.
Where we lived:
Albertville, France.Near Grignon.
Amazing, covered in snow.
We stayed in the basement apartment of a family of three. I spoke French to them and the daughter spoke English to me.
There were lots of cows and roosters, but not in a grimy unhappy sort of way that some people think of when they see farms. They just had a couple chickens for eggs in the morning and cows for milk.
:) Amazing.
I'm hungry, need to call my mother re: dance company later.
I love you.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
i am a fast-sinking anchor
Snow day today.
All we need is a little bit of momentum, break down these walls that we've built around ourselves. All we need is a little bit of inertia. Break down and tell, break down and tell.
These rules are made to break and these walls are built to fall. These rules are made to break us...these rules are made to break and these walls are built to fall. These rules are made to break us all.
There are several men running up and down the stairwell in my building right now. They're painting the doors and the stairwell and Tino will not stop barking at them. This dog needs to behave.
Colleen's beloved doggy Molly died today. RIP Molly. Amazing dog.
My mother and I went on a walk at Shilshole today. It was freezing and my earrings froze in my ears. It was nice though; I wanted to get out of the house. We might go to a movie; I have to wait for permission from the big man though.
I'm getting a dress as soon as I get money and tie-dyeing it. I have a dress all picked out and everything. It's going to be fucking awesome.
I want to start on the juju project again. Everytime I open my freezer and see my five packs of Polaroid film I get nostalgic a little? And just wishful I guess.
I'm content right now...have been listening to Daft Punk all day.
It's already 5:00 right now; I forgot about this blog post earlier and remembered when we came home from the walk.
Good stuff. :)
Going now. Bai.
I love you.
All we need is a little bit of momentum, break down these walls that we've built around ourselves. All we need is a little bit of inertia. Break down and tell, break down and tell.
These rules are made to break and these walls are built to fall. These rules are made to break us...these rules are made to break and these walls are built to fall. These rules are made to break us all.
There are several men running up and down the stairwell in my building right now. They're painting the doors and the stairwell and Tino will not stop barking at them. This dog needs to behave.
Colleen's beloved doggy Molly died today. RIP Molly. Amazing dog.
My mother and I went on a walk at Shilshole today. It was freezing and my earrings froze in my ears. It was nice though; I wanted to get out of the house. We might go to a movie; I have to wait for permission from the big man though.
I'm getting a dress as soon as I get money and tie-dyeing it. I have a dress all picked out and everything. It's going to be fucking awesome.
I want to start on the juju project again. Everytime I open my freezer and see my five packs of Polaroid film I get nostalgic a little? And just wishful I guess.
I'm content right now...have been listening to Daft Punk all day.
It's already 5:00 right now; I forgot about this blog post earlier and remembered when we came home from the walk.
Good stuff. :)
Going now. Bai.
I love you.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
snubbed
Ouch. Dude. That hurts.
School's back, which equates to zero sleep again.
I actually just finished all of my homework without stopping, which made me supremely proud because I don't think I do so all that often.
Barack Obama is on the television right now. I suppose I can marry him in addition to Hugh Jackman. What a spectacular man!
Maybe I'll go fall asleep now. I'll ask my parents to record the address and then I'll go lay down on my bed until ten o'clock.
I wish I could show everyone all of my trip pictures. There are so many, and right now I'm looking at one from when we were going down the Quadalquivir River in Seville, Spain. I was ten I think, in my pajamas, and I was on the bowsprit of the boat at sunrise. See, we'd run aground the night before and had had to take watches all night so the boat didn't sink, so we were all awake to see the beautiful sunrise. Lovely. I miss Spain. Not as much as I miss Portugal. I met my first little boyfriend in Lisbon. :)
GAWWW NOSTALGIA.
Okay. I'm going to take a nap.
I love you.
School's back, which equates to zero sleep again.
I actually just finished all of my homework without stopping, which made me supremely proud because I don't think I do so all that often.
Barack Obama is on the television right now. I suppose I can marry him in addition to Hugh Jackman. What a spectacular man!
Maybe I'll go fall asleep now. I'll ask my parents to record the address and then I'll go lay down on my bed until ten o'clock.
I wish I could show everyone all of my trip pictures. There are so many, and right now I'm looking at one from when we were going down the Quadalquivir River in Seville, Spain. I was ten I think, in my pajamas, and I was on the bowsprit of the boat at sunrise. See, we'd run aground the night before and had had to take watches all night so the boat didn't sink, so we were all awake to see the beautiful sunrise. Lovely. I miss Spain. Not as much as I miss Portugal. I met my first little boyfriend in Lisbon. :)
GAWWW NOSTALGIA.
Okay. I'm going to take a nap.
I love you.
Monday, February 23, 2009
standing on a corner watching all the girls go by
I've made several new friends in the past couple days, discovered a few unexpected things.
I'm sitting here drinking Fresca and eating dried apricots. I understand geometry and I accidentally almost ripped Elly's earring out today (sorry girl). My dog won't stop barking, of course, which does not aid my headache in any way. Hugh Jackman is the only man I would marry.
Once upon a time, my brain twin Colleen and I went on a cruise on Lake Michigan and danced the Beetlejuice dinner party dance to "Day-O" by Harry Belafonte. The end.
Once upon a time, I had an epic conversation with an ex-girlfriend on the phone. The end.
Once upon a time, WHOOOOOOOOO. The end.
Once upon a time, I didn't eat anything all day, came home, ate apricots, and wished I was hungry. The end.
Once upon a time, I had several month's worth of conversations with an ex-boyfriend on the phone. The end.
Once upon a time, I talked to a Boy Olivia on the phone for two minutes and spent the rest of the day skiing with him. The end.
Once upon a time, he stopped talking to me and who knows if he'll continue. The end.
----
Once upon a time, I took like a three hour break to finish homework and try to eat dinner and then remembered this post. The end.
You're living your own personal hell.
I decided I am going to call a certain boy in 28 minutes (it's 9:32 pm). I miss hablando.
Estoy entusiasmado para ser fluente en espanol. :)
Ileana got me an owl and a walrus at Sea World!!!! THANK YOU! I know you're mad at me. I love you. :)
I named the walrus Walrus, because He Is The Walrus and the owl Eggman because "he is the eggman". Credit to Amy Claire for helping me with the names.
My father took my phone again, I don't know when I'll get it back. What a topsy-turvy deal we have going on here. He should a) find a better hiding spot for it or b) trust me with it because really, I can focus if I try.
While we're on the topic of focus. I apologize to anyone if I have like a shitty conversation with them and can't hold up my end of the conversation with them very well. I really am. I'm probably just trying to digest what you're saying.
Anyway.
Enough.
I am going to finish The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
Goodnight. I love you.
I'm sitting here drinking Fresca and eating dried apricots. I understand geometry and I accidentally almost ripped Elly's earring out today (sorry girl). My dog won't stop barking, of course, which does not aid my headache in any way. Hugh Jackman is the only man I would marry.
Once upon a time, my brain twin Colleen and I went on a cruise on Lake Michigan and danced the Beetlejuice dinner party dance to "Day-O" by Harry Belafonte. The end.
Once upon a time, I had an epic conversation with an ex-girlfriend on the phone. The end.
Once upon a time, WHOOOOOOOOO. The end.
Once upon a time, I didn't eat anything all day, came home, ate apricots, and wished I was hungry. The end.
Once upon a time, I had several month's worth of conversations with an ex-boyfriend on the phone. The end.
Once upon a time, I talked to a Boy Olivia on the phone for two minutes and spent the rest of the day skiing with him. The end.
Once upon a time, he stopped talking to me and who knows if he'll continue. The end.
----
Once upon a time, I took like a three hour break to finish homework and try to eat dinner and then remembered this post. The end.
You're living your own personal hell.
I decided I am going to call a certain boy in 28 minutes (it's 9:32 pm). I miss hablando.
Estoy entusiasmado para ser fluente en espanol. :)
Ileana got me an owl and a walrus at Sea World!!!! THANK YOU! I know you're mad at me. I love you. :)
I named the walrus Walrus, because He Is The Walrus and the owl Eggman because "he is the eggman". Credit to Amy Claire for helping me with the names.
My father took my phone again, I don't know when I'll get it back. What a topsy-turvy deal we have going on here. He should a) find a better hiding spot for it or b) trust me with it because really, I can focus if I try.
While we're on the topic of focus. I apologize to anyone if I have like a shitty conversation with them and can't hold up my end of the conversation with them very well. I really am. I'm probably just trying to digest what you're saying.
Anyway.
Enough.
I am going to finish The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
Goodnight. I love you.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
i stop to see a weeping willow, crying on his pillow. maybe he's crying for me.
As I was vacuuming a minute ago I had a thought. I was remembering this morning when my dad was baby-stepping across the driveway at the cabin. (Baby-stepping because there was a sheet about three inches thick of solid ice between his feet and the dirt.) My mom suggested, "Why don't you go around in the snow where the branches are? It's not as slippery there." He didn't acknowledge her suggestion and kept hobbling across the ice until he almost fell on his face. My mom told him, "You are so stubborn," and got in the car with me."Well, now I know where you get it," she huffed. I replied by saying, "Well that's not very nice."
It got me thinking again about how alike my father and I are, which normally drives me crazy because of all that's gone down for the past 16 years. I mean, everyone inherits traits from their parents, some good, some bad. I would rather not be a stubborn ass, although I already am. Well, I guess I could try to change it, but I don't know where I'd start. I could try to change several things, but I don't know where to start.
I don't think I need to worry about this right now though.
I have better things to worry about. Like school.
In other news, this break was pretty productive.
I started an outline for my English presentation and had several recurring and awesome dreams. I found my hemp lotion and burned out my vanilla candle. I wrote several letters, one to Preston and one to Oliver and one to Colleen. I found an undeveloped roll of film, so I'm excited about that, along with a new flash that my sister dug up. I wrote four songs. I listened to Daft Punk and had a shitload of fun while doing so. I hung out with Reland most of the week, then Kay, Ali, and Miles. I saw Preston and hung out with Ileana before the break started. I ate Pringles several times, and hasbrowns, and waffles. I read two and a half books, slept in until noon, and became addicted to Doctor Who, Black's Books, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I collected Snapple caps. I called Funyuns "Fritos" and was given a burrito at midnight. I rediscovered the old dusty Beatles records my parents were keeping from me in the attic (not that I can play them). I missed Alexa hella, and everyone else at school for that matter. I got into a fight. We made up. I fashioned a dress out of a skirt. I did countless other things that I don't feel like mentioning right now.
Was a good break, won't forget it anytime soon.
Dear Elly,
Let's work on my wall.
Love,
Olivia
Refrigerator
Must work on picture
For dance company.
Love.
It got me thinking again about how alike my father and I are, which normally drives me crazy because of all that's gone down for the past 16 years. I mean, everyone inherits traits from their parents, some good, some bad. I would rather not be a stubborn ass, although I already am. Well, I guess I could try to change it, but I don't know where I'd start. I could try to change several things, but I don't know where to start.
I don't think I need to worry about this right now though.
I have better things to worry about. Like school.
In other news, this break was pretty productive.
I started an outline for my English presentation and had several recurring and awesome dreams. I found my hemp lotion and burned out my vanilla candle. I wrote several letters, one to Preston and one to Oliver and one to Colleen. I found an undeveloped roll of film, so I'm excited about that, along with a new flash that my sister dug up. I wrote four songs. I listened to Daft Punk and had a shitload of fun while doing so. I hung out with Reland most of the week, then Kay, Ali, and Miles. I saw Preston and hung out with Ileana before the break started. I ate Pringles several times, and hasbrowns, and waffles. I read two and a half books, slept in until noon, and became addicted to Doctor Who, Black's Books, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I collected Snapple caps. I called Funyuns "Fritos" and was given a burrito at midnight. I rediscovered the old dusty Beatles records my parents were keeping from me in the attic (not that I can play them). I missed Alexa hella, and everyone else at school for that matter. I got into a fight. We made up. I fashioned a dress out of a skirt. I did countless other things that I don't feel like mentioning right now.
Was a good break, won't forget it anytime soon.
Dear Elly,
Let's work on my wall.
Love,
Olivia
Refrigerator
Must work on picture
For dance company.
Love.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
get on your knees.
I smell like hashbrowns.
Figuratively speaking.
Not real hashbrowns.
My sweater has the most comforting smell ever. I missed them, I'm excited for them.
Mother and I went to a Patsy Cline play; my mom used to croon the lovely Ms. Cline to me at night when I was little, to get me to sleep. We both knew all the words to all the songs sung. It was a lovely experience, I sense a Patsy Cline kick.
Tragic story, I wish I'd known her.
I feel a lot better right now.
Thank you Mykaila, thank you Patsy Cline, thank you Dr. Miles Walrus, thank you Mom, thank you Alexa I miss you honey.
I'm sitting pantsless on my bed right now because I took off my jeans after the play and got on AIM and started drawing and forgot about everything. My feet are covered by a flannel shirt of my sister's I think from the 90's. Har.
Going to bed; where did the time go?
I still have to redraw the dance company thing. Shit.
Goodnight.
Figuratively speaking.
Not real hashbrowns.
My sweater has the most comforting smell ever. I missed them, I'm excited for them.
Mother and I went to a Patsy Cline play; my mom used to croon the lovely Ms. Cline to me at night when I was little, to get me to sleep. We both knew all the words to all the songs sung. It was a lovely experience, I sense a Patsy Cline kick.
Tragic story, I wish I'd known her.
I feel a lot better right now.
Thank you Mykaila, thank you Patsy Cline, thank you Dr. Miles Walrus, thank you Mom, thank you Alexa I miss you honey.
I'm sitting pantsless on my bed right now because I took off my jeans after the play and got on AIM and started drawing and forgot about everything. My feet are covered by a flannel shirt of my sister's I think from the 90's. Har.
Going to bed; where did the time go?
I still have to redraw the dance company thing. Shit.
Goodnight.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
hey little party girl, where do you want to go?
I'm going to Enumclaw tonight, staying at Ali's house, excited.
I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Hulu for a few hours last night.
My migraines have come and gone in the past few days; thankfully I'm on the downward slope my most recent.
Worried about a best friend of mine, symbolized by a semicolon. I'm here for you girlie.
Today, I'm convinced, is going to be a good day.
I'm going to shower, walk up to get some breakfast, and then get ready for tonight.
Things are looking up, for me at least.
Don't forget:
Call/text if you want/need.
I love you.
I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Hulu for a few hours last night.
My migraines have come and gone in the past few days; thankfully I'm on the downward slope my most recent.
Worried about a best friend of mine, symbolized by a semicolon. I'm here for you girlie.
Today, I'm convinced, is going to be a good day.
I'm going to shower, walk up to get some breakfast, and then get ready for tonight.
Things are looking up, for me at least.
Don't forget:
- Retainer (ew)
- Kay's and my journal. Trade off.
- Phone charger
- Headphones
- Change of clothes
- Hair ties
- bandana
- camera
- Airborne
- Polaroid
- Common sense
Call/text if you want/need.
I love you.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
in a field outside of town
Today my cousin and my mother and I went to the cemetery and put flowers on the graves. It was as we were walking over said graves that I was thinking about grass.
You see, I haven't been around grass in quite a while. I mean, grass that smells. Not grass in the marijuana sense because that smells plenty, but the grass in the real yard-sense. You know, grass that smells like summer and spring and sometimes rain? Mostly sunniness and umbrella forts under cherry blossom trees, but that's just me. Well, I live in the middle of the grungy city during the week; my front yard is made of concrete and homeless folks. On the weekends I head up to the mountains where the only grass is dead and hidden under layers of snow. So I'm not exposed to any grass, really, aside from the grass at school which I'm always in too much of a hurry to sit in.
I need to appreciate the fucking grass.
Hopefully I'm going to Enumclaw tonight; I'll be at Kay's father's and I'll commandeer their mini yard.
Hmmmm sounds good.
Love.
You see, I haven't been around grass in quite a while. I mean, grass that smells. Not grass in the marijuana sense because that smells plenty, but the grass in the real yard-sense. You know, grass that smells like summer and spring and sometimes rain? Mostly sunniness and umbrella forts under cherry blossom trees, but that's just me. Well, I live in the middle of the grungy city during the week; my front yard is made of concrete and homeless folks. On the weekends I head up to the mountains where the only grass is dead and hidden under layers of snow. So I'm not exposed to any grass, really, aside from the grass at school which I'm always in too much of a hurry to sit in.
I need to appreciate the fucking grass.
Hopefully I'm going to Enumclaw tonight; I'll be at Kay's father's and I'll commandeer their mini yard.
Hmmmm sounds good.
Love.
Monday, February 16, 2009
elderly father-in-law, Laertes
Cleaned room today.
Reland helped signifcantly.
Thanks girlie.
We're sitting on my bed now; it smells like soap and the floor is the spic-n-spannest thing I've seen since we went through the car wash the other day.
We're watching this British TV series called Black Books and I'm in love. I wish I was more Irish.
Last night was great. There were rainbow people.
Do the chickens have large talons?
I'm still excited for this week.
Father goes to Louisiana tomorrow; going to Ali's hopefully.
Can't seem to speak in full sentences.
I am cuddling with Reland while she draws eagles. Am holding a pink seal named Courtney.
Vamos a comer hamburguesas por la cena.
No tengo nada para decirte hoy.
Escuche a Stawberry Fields Forever el noche pasado, y I Am The Walrus el todo de la manana hoy.
Bai.
Love.
Reland helped signifcantly.
Thanks girlie.
We're sitting on my bed now; it smells like soap and the floor is the spic-n-spannest thing I've seen since we went through the car wash the other day.
We're watching this British TV series called Black Books and I'm in love. I wish I was more Irish.
Last night was great. There were rainbow people.
Do the chickens have large talons?
I'm still excited for this week.
Father goes to Louisiana tomorrow; going to Ali's hopefully.
Can't seem to speak in full sentences.
I am cuddling with Reland while she draws eagles. Am holding a pink seal named Courtney.
Vamos a comer hamburguesas por la cena.
No tengo nada para decirte hoy.
Escuche a Stawberry Fields Forever el noche pasado, y I Am The Walrus el todo de la manana hoy.
Bai.
Love.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
caught red-handed at the door
I had the weirdest dream. Maureen Peavey came to my new house and stole my Milk Duds and taught me how to tap dance.
I realized something last night; I get sick around the same time every month. It was exactly this time when I got sick in December, and in January, and in November...I can't remember the months before that. I got the Postsecret book yesterday and got through half of it in 7 minutes with Reland...we were driving home from U Village.
Speaking of.
To-Do list:
I am sort of in the process of cleaning mi cuarto; I've got a vanilla-scented candle lit and two strings of lanterns and Christmas lights replacing my burnt-out bulbs. My teeth hurt from finally wearing my retainer and I have two Obama "Yes We Did" stickers on my desk. Not that you can actually see my desk from under all the books and photos and old graded homework assignments.
I live in chaos and I love it. Hah.
I don't have anything astoundingly deep to say; more often than I think I realize, I envy people who think so deeply all the time, who can put their thoughts into words so eloquently.
I'm a bit restless and I'm excited for a week of relaxation, cartoon dreams, and wheezing.
I'm excited for a bright yellow van and a car that I am determined to give a new scent. I am excited for meeting his mom, maybe. I'm excited for hugs and cuddles and kisses, not that I'm not abundantly blessed with those already. (: I'm excited for dark, late-night "are you there? I can't see you! give me your hand!"'s and pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm excited for molestaches and glow sticks and sleeping under the stars. I'm excited for necks and hands and drawing on him and Nixon and Olive-IA! I'm excited to escape from this nonsense.
I'm excited for working on my juju project.
Really, I understand what Haley was talking about when she said she loves her life here, but she loves her life in Alaska more. I feel like I have a little family up there, it's lovely.
There's totally a bucket of Playdough on my desk.
I just realized that I have not been in possession of my mobile device for most of February. I miss it and I'm tired of have my moods go up and down.
I also miss wandering off to the "bathroom" during geometry to actually go see Elly and Sheila.
NOSTALGIA
I miss summer and being barefoot all the time.
Love.
I realized something last night; I get sick around the same time every month. It was exactly this time when I got sick in December, and in January, and in November...I can't remember the months before that. I got the Postsecret book yesterday and got through half of it in 7 minutes with Reland...we were driving home from U Village.
Speaking of.
To-Do list:
- See Sarah Grove!
- Get Nyquil
- Make school to-do list
- Read Great Speeches By Native Americans by next Monday
- Replace the lightbulb on my desk
- Replace the lightbulb in my closet
- Clean off floor
- Fanaggle parents into letting me spend the night at Ali's
- Retrieve straightener from the great abyss that is the cabin bathroom
- Send Colleen's box
I am sort of in the process of cleaning mi cuarto; I've got a vanilla-scented candle lit and two strings of lanterns and Christmas lights replacing my burnt-out bulbs. My teeth hurt from finally wearing my retainer and I have two Obama "Yes We Did" stickers on my desk. Not that you can actually see my desk from under all the books and photos and old graded homework assignments.
I live in chaos and I love it. Hah.
I don't have anything astoundingly deep to say; more often than I think I realize, I envy people who think so deeply all the time, who can put their thoughts into words so eloquently.
I'm a bit restless and I'm excited for a week of relaxation, cartoon dreams, and wheezing.
I'm excited for a bright yellow van and a car that I am determined to give a new scent. I am excited for meeting his mom, maybe. I'm excited for hugs and cuddles and kisses, not that I'm not abundantly blessed with those already. (: I'm excited for dark, late-night "are you there? I can't see you! give me your hand!"'s and pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm excited for molestaches and glow sticks and sleeping under the stars. I'm excited for necks and hands and drawing on him and Nixon and Olive-IA! I'm excited to escape from this nonsense.
I'm excited for working on my juju project.
Really, I understand what Haley was talking about when she said she loves her life here, but she loves her life in Alaska more. I feel like I have a little family up there, it's lovely.
There's totally a bucket of Playdough on my desk.
I just realized that I have not been in possession of my mobile device for most of February. I miss it and I'm tired of have my moods go up and down.
I also miss wandering off to the "bathroom" during geometry to actually go see Elly and Sheila.
NOSTALGIA
I miss summer and being barefoot all the time.
Love.
Friday, February 13, 2009
ladies and gentlemen! the let's-go-out-tonites!
don't know how to lead, just follow along.
propane butane butene propyne pentene hexane noname
Fuck chemistry.
I was invited to a rave last night. Is there such a thing as an invitation to a rave? I guess he was basically like, "Come to the rave with me."
I said no. Hah.
What a life I have.
Today's a good day; voy a la casa de Fairy Princess despues de la escuela. It's sunny and warm and I'm wearing a teal hoodie.
Good stuff.
I got four valentines! (:
Happy valentines day, everyone. Early. Friday the 13th.
Love.
propane butane butene propyne pentene hexane noname
Fuck chemistry.
I was invited to a rave last night. Is there such a thing as an invitation to a rave? I guess he was basically like, "Come to the rave with me."
I said no. Hah.
What a life I have.
Today's a good day; voy a la casa de Fairy Princess despues de la escuela. It's sunny and warm and I'm wearing a teal hoodie.
Good stuff.
I got four valentines! (:
Happy valentines day, everyone. Early. Friday the 13th.
Love.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
waiting for 12:34
I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd write.
I just read through all my blog posts from like December until now and noticed the steady decline in moods and good juju. I can see why, it's not like it was really without reason. But I'm glad I did read because I got rid of some shit that I hadn't thought was offensive at the time but totally was. Also, I remembered that I'm not a fuck, as I have been feeling lately.
Preston quoted me on Facebook; I feel flattered.
I found a song on iTunes, called Mario Kart Love Song by Sam Hart.
I didn't mean to find it, I was actually looking for Mario Kart applications for my phone I think, and then I came back for it later. It's fantastic. I want to marry this lovely Mr. Hart.
I'm not ski racing anymore. My mother a while ago had asked about the possibility of getting a refund in case I couldn't ski on my knee anymore and the book keeper misconstrued her question and sent all the money we'd paid back...So I'm not ski racing anymore...What a huge step. I have ski raced my entire life, no joke. Since I was five, I think. What am I even going to do with myself? Homework, I guess. How am I going to tell McKenna?
ONE MINUTE UNTIL 12:34!
I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow. Or today, technically. I am still - BREAK IT'S 12:34!!!
Okay cool, wish made. I forgot what I was sayingosaldkfs oh yeah, I'm still sick. Fuck.
I have a lot to do; make up tests and get homework and meet with teachers and do laundry and make a new dance company drawing and whoaaaaaa.
I really need to do something to spice up my life.
Maybe I should join a book club lolololol or eat Thai food or go bungee jumping.
Okay I've joined a book club and no me gustaba.
I've eaten Thai food and it didn't spice up anything, not even my tastebuds.
AND HOLY COW I'M GOING BUNGEE JUMPING THIS SUMMER.
Mykaila JO, you better do it with me or I'd pee my pants.
Okay. Maybe bedtime now. Night.
I just read through all my blog posts from like December until now and noticed the steady decline in moods and good juju. I can see why, it's not like it was really without reason. But I'm glad I did read because I got rid of some shit that I hadn't thought was offensive at the time but totally was. Also, I remembered that I'm not a fuck, as I have been feeling lately.
Preston quoted me on Facebook; I feel flattered.
I found a song on iTunes, called Mario Kart Love Song by Sam Hart.
I didn't mean to find it, I was actually looking for Mario Kart applications for my phone I think, and then I came back for it later. It's fantastic. I want to marry this lovely Mr. Hart.
I'm not ski racing anymore. My mother a while ago had asked about the possibility of getting a refund in case I couldn't ski on my knee anymore and the book keeper misconstrued her question and sent all the money we'd paid back...So I'm not ski racing anymore...What a huge step. I have ski raced my entire life, no joke. Since I was five, I think. What am I even going to do with myself? Homework, I guess. How am I going to tell McKenna?
ONE MINUTE UNTIL 12:34!
I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow. Or today, technically. I am still - BREAK IT'S 12:34!!!
Okay cool, wish made. I forgot what I was sayingosaldkfs oh yeah, I'm still sick. Fuck.
I have a lot to do; make up tests and get homework and meet with teachers and do laundry and make a new dance company drawing and whoaaaaaa.
I really need to do something to spice up my life.
Maybe I should join a book club lolololol or eat Thai food or go bungee jumping.
Okay I've joined a book club and no me gustaba.
I've eaten Thai food and it didn't spice up anything, not even my tastebuds.
AND HOLY COW I'M GOING BUNGEE JUMPING THIS SUMMER.
Mykaila JO, you better do it with me or I'd pee my pants.
Okay. Maybe bedtime now. Night.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
cramps and stomach flu
Cliche college visit movies make my sick days a lot happier.
I think if I were ever forced to join anything in Movie College, I'd cut my hair, tape my boobs, and join a Movie Fraternity. Movie Sororities don't do a whole lot for me, they make me want to die a little bit. Not that the Fraternities are all that desirable either. Except Movie Sororities are always cleaner. Thank God for girls.
I don't even know what I'm going on about. Fake sororities and fraternities.
But I highly doubt that I would ever go to Movie College.
Yesterday morning while waiting for my mother I was sitting in the car and listening to Blink-182 and it inspired a rant something like this.
Anyway. I think it's time for some breakfast.
I think if I were ever forced to join anything in Movie College, I'd cut my hair, tape my boobs, and join a Movie Fraternity. Movie Sororities don't do a whole lot for me, they make me want to die a little bit. Not that the Fraternities are all that desirable either. Except Movie Sororities are always cleaner. Thank God for girls.
I don't even know what I'm going on about. Fake sororities and fraternities.
But I highly doubt that I would ever go to Movie College.
Yesterday morning while waiting for my mother I was sitting in the car and listening to Blink-182 and it inspired a rant something like this.
Anyway. I think it's time for some breakfast.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
you're such a smiling sweetheart
I think I took this on a submarine.I fucking love submarines.
And not just because of the crack song.
dude
Choir festival was lovely. Nuff said.
Other news.
I wonder what it's like being so hateful all the time. Sorry guys.
I don't have a whole lot to say tonight. I'm glad I'm with the people I am now.
I love them.
I love lots of people. Even if they do think I'm pathetic and fake. Whatever. This girl called me a weird-ass today when Alexa and I were playing weenis rodeo. HAHAHAHA BEST GAME EVER. I don't know. I was talking to ex girlfriendiebutt tonight, I sort of came to some conclusions.
I'm excited to move. Can't make a countdown though.
Don't want to think about that.
Goodnight.
Other news.
I wonder what it's like being so hateful all the time. Sorry guys.
I don't have a whole lot to say tonight. I'm glad I'm with the people I am now.
I love them.
I love lots of people. Even if they do think I'm pathetic and fake. Whatever. This girl called me a weird-ass today when Alexa and I were playing weenis rodeo. HAHAHAHA BEST GAME EVER. I don't know. I was talking to ex girlfriendiebutt tonight, I sort of came to some conclusions.
I'm excited to move. Can't make a countdown though.
Don't want to think about that.
Goodnight.
Monday, February 9, 2009
en paz
Mmm. Choir festival today.
+/- 5 hour rehearsal yesterday.
Today, as I sit in the dark on my mother's bed, I have decided I'm going to strike up a conversation with someone I have either never met, or whom have met, or whom I'm close to, or used to be close to. I feel like I've been pretty antisocial lately.
Maybe it's just me.
Tell me if you agree?
I feel like I've been moaning and groaning but I realized that I'm pretty upbeat, if the girls I was sitting by yesterday were anything to go by. I don't have a lot to complain about.
So my father comes back today. I have to put my phone back in its hiding place. Remind me to do that before I go this morning.
I smell like Old Spice.
Hasta la noche, mis amores.
+/- 5 hour rehearsal yesterday.
Today, as I sit in the dark on my mother's bed, I have decided I'm going to strike up a conversation with someone I have either never met, or whom have met, or whom I'm close to, or used to be close to. I feel like I've been pretty antisocial lately.
Maybe it's just me.
Tell me if you agree?
I feel like I've been moaning and groaning but I realized that I'm pretty upbeat, if the girls I was sitting by yesterday were anything to go by. I don't have a lot to complain about.
So my father comes back today. I have to put my phone back in its hiding place. Remind me to do that before I go this morning.
I smell like Old Spice.
Hasta la noche, mis amores.
Friday, February 6, 2009
breaking up my band won't give you payment
Frustrated. There's always this underlying feeling of frustration lately.
Had a blow up with Reland last night; resolved it an hour and a half of tears and begging (on both parts) later. I love her, so so much. There's gotta be a reason why she and I have stayed friends for 13 years.
Another frustration is the Mormon boy. He's ruining things between her and I. It's a pity because he's such a nice boy and he really does mean well. She's blinded; I used to be that little voice of reason..."maybe you don't want to do this because x, y, and z." "well, it's your life. but be careful. I don't want you to get hurt." She doesn't listen to me. Instead of doing bad things, she's quitting everything, which, don't get me wrong, is great. She's just abandoning me, not purposefully, but it's happening all the same. I try to tell her and she doesn't listen.
Boo. It's happened before, it's happening now, it'll happen again. We'll work through it.
On another note, my father gets home on Sunday. Which means we're getting closer to leaving.
I woke up this morning with a terrible pain at the edge of my left eye. It looks like excema but I doubt I have that, it doesn't itch. It feels like something cut me. Ouch.
The whole reason for me posting right now was lost; I was doing geometry homework and I couldn't figure out a problem about proportions and stuff and I got distracted.
I'm excited for tonight. But not really. Again, the Mormon boy. And she signed me up for something I am absolutely not comfortable doing...doesn't understand why I don't want to. Just because she has doesn't mean that I would go ahead and do it. We're not brain twins in that sense.
Unnecessary.
Other than that, things are great.
I'm going to Enumclaw tonight, call or text me, it would mean a lot.
Love.
Had a blow up with Reland last night; resolved it an hour and a half of tears and begging (on both parts) later. I love her, so so much. There's gotta be a reason why she and I have stayed friends for 13 years.
Another frustration is the Mormon boy. He's ruining things between her and I. It's a pity because he's such a nice boy and he really does mean well. She's blinded; I used to be that little voice of reason..."maybe you don't want to do this because x, y, and z." "well, it's your life. but be careful. I don't want you to get hurt." She doesn't listen to me. Instead of doing bad things, she's quitting everything, which, don't get me wrong, is great. She's just abandoning me, not purposefully, but it's happening all the same. I try to tell her and she doesn't listen.
Boo. It's happened before, it's happening now, it'll happen again. We'll work through it.
On another note, my father gets home on Sunday. Which means we're getting closer to leaving.
I woke up this morning with a terrible pain at the edge of my left eye. It looks like excema but I doubt I have that, it doesn't itch. It feels like something cut me. Ouch.
The whole reason for me posting right now was lost; I was doing geometry homework and I couldn't figure out a problem about proportions and stuff and I got distracted.
I'm excited for tonight. But not really. Again, the Mormon boy. And she signed me up for something I am absolutely not comfortable doing...doesn't understand why I don't want to. Just because she has doesn't mean that I would go ahead and do it. We're not brain twins in that sense.
Unnecessary.
Other than that, things are great.
I'm going to Enumclaw tonight, call or text me, it would mean a lot.
Love.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I WANT A WALRUS
OH MY GOD, WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS!!!
WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS
To be continued.
WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS WALRUS
To be continued.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
to-do
School:
To be honest, I'm looking forward to getting out of geometry (although I'm actually beginning to like geometry) and going to choir for two hours or however long we're rehearsing.
Voy a comprar comida o algo antes de iendo a choir. No come mucho.
Love.
- Study for Chemistry test
- Spanish: cuaderno, p. 99, 100, 101, 102
- English: p. 606-614, questions on 615
- Geometry: p. 385, #1-3, 10-12, 17, 18, 25, 26
- Re-trace dance company cover art (glass table +flashlight)
- Write:
Forest Ridge Dance Company
2009
February 27 & 28 at 7 pm
- memorize choir music
- Talk to parental units regarding Friday with Kay etc
- Find Snow White
- Watch Pineapple Express
- Learn to sight read better
To be honest, I'm looking forward to getting out of geometry (although I'm actually beginning to like geometry) and going to choir for two hours or however long we're rehearsing.
Voy a comprar comida o algo antes de iendo a choir. No come mucho.
Love.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
waiting
The song Waiting by Green Day describes what I want to feel right now.
I've been waiting a long time for this moment to come. I'm destined for anything...at all. Downtown lights will be shining on me like a new diamond. Ring out under the midnight hour. No one can touch me now and I can't turn my back; It's too late, ready or not at all. I'm so much closer than I have ever known...Wake up.
Dawning of a new era, calling...don't let it catch you falling. Ready or not at all. So close enough to taste it; almost...I can embrace this feeling on the tip of my tongue.
Not how I feel, mind you, but how I want to feel.
I'm a tad conflicted at the moment, but I feel alright. I don't feel like being cryptic right now. I'm unsubtle by nature, it takes enough effort to not blurt out how I'm feeling all the time without making it sound good. Honestly, here is how I feel. Honestly, I feel unwanted by pretty much everyone but a select few people; those people are the ones I am helping, the ones who give me purpose, the ones who I feel might depend on me sometimes. Honestly, I know that's not good, but the feeling comes and goes so I'm not too concerned. Honestly, I feel that other than my parents' situation, my housing arrangement limbo, my inadequacy feelings, and bad grades, things are all right. Honestly, disregarding all of that, things are perfect. Honestly, I have several best friends who love me and whom I love dearly. Honestly, half the time I feel I don't have a life and I resort to pot to make me feel better. Honestly, I sound like a pathetic deadbeat. Honestly, the other half of the time I feel absolutely perfect. Honestly, I feel my resentment towards my father takes up too much energy, but honestly it has gone on for so long that I don't know how to fix it. Honestly, I feel that the soundtrack I have recently picked out for my life is cliche and corny, but fitting. Honestly, I think I'm waiting for something exciting to happen. Honestly, something exciting did happen but was a tad too good to be true; when I started getting the hint that it might happen again I realized I didn't want it and neither did he. Honestly, I'm fine with spending my nights in the bright yellow van. Honestly, what matters to me is happiness. Honestly, I am still balancing out my happiness with that of others. Honestly, I'm trying to come to terms that I cannot fix everything. Honestly, I think I could stop talking to him now and wouldn't notice the difference. But honestly, if I said that, he would run his car into a tree. Honestly, I can't love other people if I don't love myself. Honestly, I do love myself. Honestly, I do try to love everybody, but honestly, it's really hard when they do not want to be loved. Honestly, that's not an excuse to not love them. Honestly, I'm going to love them anyways. Honestly, I suppose I don't miss the people I recently lost touch with, but honestly I miss the good times we had. Honestly, I think it's just bad luck. Honestly, I have slept four hours in the past 120 hours, and honestly I blame him. Honestly, I don't want this blog to be angsty, but honestly I think I voice how I'm feeling better here. Honestly, I'm not going to delve into the details of my parents' seperation on here, however much I feel like it. Honestly, I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to about that. But honestly, when I was typing that, I thought of four people who have told me that they are, or have gone, through the same thing and are here for me. Honestly, I want to kiss those people right now. Honestly, I love them. Honestly, I love the people who have treated me like shit for the past few months, and I don't honestly know why. Honestly, I swear I have been absolutely honest.
I've got some stuff whirling around my head. So technically only half the time I'm conflicted; I feel like a cow. Not in a shitty-self-esteem sort of way, in the half-black-half-white sort of way. Maybe a zebra analogy might be better. Black with white stripes or white with black stripes? Half the time I'm great, half the time I feel like shit.
And now what do I do about it?
I suppose I'll have to think some more about that.
I think I'll have to get back to you on that.
I've been waiting a long time for this moment to come. I'm destined for anything...at all. Downtown lights will be shining on me like a new diamond. Ring out under the midnight hour. No one can touch me now and I can't turn my back; It's too late, ready or not at all. I'm so much closer than I have ever known...Wake up.
Dawning of a new era, calling...don't let it catch you falling. Ready or not at all. So close enough to taste it; almost...I can embrace this feeling on the tip of my tongue.
Not how I feel, mind you, but how I want to feel.
I'm a tad conflicted at the moment, but I feel alright. I don't feel like being cryptic right now. I'm unsubtle by nature, it takes enough effort to not blurt out how I'm feeling all the time without making it sound good. Honestly, here is how I feel. Honestly, I feel unwanted by pretty much everyone but a select few people; those people are the ones I am helping, the ones who give me purpose, the ones who I feel might depend on me sometimes. Honestly, I know that's not good, but the feeling comes and goes so I'm not too concerned. Honestly, I feel that other than my parents' situation, my housing arrangement limbo, my inadequacy feelings, and bad grades, things are all right. Honestly, disregarding all of that, things are perfect. Honestly, I have several best friends who love me and whom I love dearly. Honestly, half the time I feel I don't have a life and I resort to pot to make me feel better. Honestly, I sound like a pathetic deadbeat. Honestly, the other half of the time I feel absolutely perfect. Honestly, I feel my resentment towards my father takes up too much energy, but honestly it has gone on for so long that I don't know how to fix it. Honestly, I feel that the soundtrack I have recently picked out for my life is cliche and corny, but fitting. Honestly, I think I'm waiting for something exciting to happen. Honestly, something exciting did happen but was a tad too good to be true; when I started getting the hint that it might happen again I realized I didn't want it and neither did he. Honestly, I'm fine with spending my nights in the bright yellow van. Honestly, what matters to me is happiness. Honestly, I am still balancing out my happiness with that of others. Honestly, I'm trying to come to terms that I cannot fix everything. Honestly, I think I could stop talking to him now and wouldn't notice the difference. But honestly, if I said that, he would run his car into a tree. Honestly, I can't love other people if I don't love myself. Honestly, I do love myself. Honestly, I do try to love everybody, but honestly, it's really hard when they do not want to be loved. Honestly, that's not an excuse to not love them. Honestly, I'm going to love them anyways. Honestly, I suppose I don't miss the people I recently lost touch with, but honestly I miss the good times we had. Honestly, I think it's just bad luck. Honestly, I have slept four hours in the past 120 hours, and honestly I blame him. Honestly, I don't want this blog to be angsty, but honestly I think I voice how I'm feeling better here. Honestly, I'm not going to delve into the details of my parents' seperation on here, however much I feel like it. Honestly, I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk to about that. But honestly, when I was typing that, I thought of four people who have told me that they are, or have gone, through the same thing and are here for me. Honestly, I want to kiss those people right now. Honestly, I love them. Honestly, I love the people who have treated me like shit for the past few months, and I don't honestly know why. Honestly, I swear I have been absolutely honest.
I've got some stuff whirling around my head. So technically only half the time I'm conflicted; I feel like a cow. Not in a shitty-self-esteem sort of way, in the half-black-half-white sort of way. Maybe a zebra analogy might be better. Black with white stripes or white with black stripes? Half the time I'm great, half the time I feel like shit.
And now what do I do about it?
I suppose I'll have to think some more about that.
I think I'll have to get back to you on that.
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