But I'm quite close. I have been working on it for 10 hours straight.
THERE IS A MOVIE CALLED THE TRAIL OF THE SCREAMING FOREHEADS!
It's about these alien foreheads - no joke, FOREHEADS - that turn people into zombies.
WHAT THE EFF.
Drugs.
I'm excited for 10:00 tonight.
My mother and I just spent ten minutes on the couch, thinking about putting a movie on, but neither of us wanted to get up to look for the remote. So we sat here and laughed at pretty much nothing, for ten minutes straight.
She finally finished her strawberries and stood up and got the remote. So now we're watching Jumper. I so wish I could teleport.
Hasta luego. Love.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
sorry dudes. my bad.
I am currently sitting on my couch drinking tea and eating Jumbo Virginia Peanuts. I keep thinking the jar says vagina peanuts and I sort of cringe inside because whatever a vagina peanut is, it doesn't sound very appealing.
The clouds look really pretty; I think the sun is setting, but I can't tell. I've been outside once today.
Goddamn this history paper. I was hoping to get it done before it got dark, because I can never concentrate when it's dark. Hell, I can't concentrate during the day. I've been more content lately, because:
Well she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean, and the way she looked was way beyond compaaaaaaaaaaare.
Nanannaanana I've been listening to like first ever Beatles stuff again. It also improves everything.
Time to work on history essay again.
You're beautiful, I love you.
The clouds look really pretty; I think the sun is setting, but I can't tell. I've been outside once today.
Goddamn this history paper. I was hoping to get it done before it got dark, because I can never concentrate when it's dark. Hell, I can't concentrate during the day. I've been more content lately, because:
- I've secured my room in the basement in the new house
- I've been talking to people that want to talk to me too
- Jacked up on caffeine
- Getting all homework done/turned in!!!!!!!
- Understanding said homework
- Finding songs that fully suit my mood
- I finished the dance company drawing for Ms. Edwards (hopefully she'll like it.)
- There's a man assigned to me and he checks on my stability. We discuss you every week, then I rinse and rinse, repeat.
- Things are looking up.
- I hung out with him and left with my virtue still firmly intact
- Not necessarily looking for a relationship, and that's fine
- Called me sweetie this morning; I died.
- Was ripped and listened to all of Sgt. Peppers
Well she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean, and the way she looked was way beyond compaaaaaaaaaaare.
Nanannaanana I've been listening to like first ever Beatles stuff again. It also improves everything.
Time to work on history essay again.
You're beautiful, I love you.
Friday, January 30, 2009
it could be introducing five nuns
Lolwut?
Mykaila: "NOT ACT LIKE A..."
Olivia: "DINGUS!"
Mykaila: "... a dingus, or a monkey..."
Olivia: "There's nothing wrong with monkeys."
Today Señora went, "OOOH LOS BEATLES! Me gusta tu Beatles camisa, monkey!"
It brightened my morning.
you're beautiful, i love you.
Mykaila: "NOT ACT LIKE A..."
Olivia: "DINGUS!"
Mykaila: "... a dingus, or a monkey..."
Olivia: "There's nothing wrong with monkeys."
Today Señora went, "OOOH LOS BEATLES! Me gusta tu Beatles camisa, monkey!"
It brightened my morning.
you're beautiful, i love you.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
none of that salmonella business
Cold turkey's getting stale
Tonight I'm eating crow
Fermented salmonella poison oak, no!
There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrating
My tongue is swelling up, I say 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4
Troubled times, you know I cannot lie
I'm off the wagon and I'm hitching a ride...
Oh Green Day, how I missed your dulcet tones.
Haha, dulcet. The word always reminds me of Ms. Seaton in my 8th grade music class, she always called us her "dulcet darlings".
Tonight for dinner is Swiss steak :/ No me gusta mucho, y no tengo mucho hambre. Yo hice un sandwich de platanos, mantequilla de cacahuete, y miel antes de la cena...entonces, no tengo hambre. Hoy, mi gramatica esta muy bien. Es mi vocabulario que necesita mejora. Dudo que sea el mismo manana, pero no quiero preocupar esta noche.
Necesito hacer mi tarea...my English essay is going to be shit tomorrow. Good thing it's only a draft. Thank you Geraghty for extending it.
Today my mother took me to the family pediatrician because she thinks I have A.D.D. He sent me home with a questionnaire. He really has the most beautiful eyes; they're like turquoise and I wanted to comment on them, but it might seem weird that a) I'm telling a man in his 60's that his eyes are beautiful (although really, I wouldn't mind) and b) my family's been going to him for the past 29 years, so really we should have noticed by now? Whatever, I'll tell him the next time I see him.
I am working quite diligently on this essay of mine. It's actually 8:29 right now. When I post this, it'll say it was posted a couple hours ago I think, but I actually turned off my internet and worked on this essay for a while. I'm proud.
Except for the fact that I'm not allowed in my room except to sleep now.
That is definitely for another time.
I miss Salvador Dali. I have a photo of him in my room under the Juju section of my wall.
I got a cracky message on my phone yesterday. I wonder who it could have been from.
Going to finish essay.
You're beautiful, I love you.
Tonight I'm eating crow
Fermented salmonella poison oak, no!
There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrating
My tongue is swelling up, I say 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4
Troubled times, you know I cannot lie
I'm off the wagon and I'm hitching a ride...
Oh Green Day, how I missed your dulcet tones.
Haha, dulcet. The word always reminds me of Ms. Seaton in my 8th grade music class, she always called us her "dulcet darlings".
Tonight for dinner is Swiss steak :/ No me gusta mucho, y no tengo mucho hambre. Yo hice un sandwich de platanos, mantequilla de cacahuete, y miel antes de la cena...entonces, no tengo hambre. Hoy, mi gramatica esta muy bien. Es mi vocabulario que necesita mejora. Dudo que sea el mismo manana, pero no quiero preocupar esta noche.
Necesito hacer mi tarea...my English essay is going to be shit tomorrow. Good thing it's only a draft. Thank you Geraghty for extending it.
Today my mother took me to the family pediatrician because she thinks I have A.D.D. He sent me home with a questionnaire. He really has the most beautiful eyes; they're like turquoise and I wanted to comment on them, but it might seem weird that a) I'm telling a man in his 60's that his eyes are beautiful (although really, I wouldn't mind) and b) my family's been going to him for the past 29 years, so really we should have noticed by now? Whatever, I'll tell him the next time I see him.
I am working quite diligently on this essay of mine. It's actually 8:29 right now. When I post this, it'll say it was posted a couple hours ago I think, but I actually turned off my internet and worked on this essay for a while. I'm proud.
Except for the fact that I'm not allowed in my room except to sleep now.
That is definitely for another time.
I miss Salvador Dali. I have a photo of him in my room under the Juju section of my wall.
I got a cracky message on my phone yesterday. I wonder who it could have been from.
Going to finish essay.
You're beautiful, I love you.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
jacqueline was seventeen
I'm on a roll tonight. I finished my P.E. homework (who ever heard of such a thing?), endured an hour of physical therapy and then some, I actually understand chemistry tonight (thanks Taylor De + McKenna), and I managed to make up an English paper topic on the spot while speaking to my father. I asked my father about my history essay topic (why McCain-Palin lost) and I got him talking for an hour and a half. I took 5 pages of notes.
English: sling hen
managed: aged man
understand: r tanned sun
Today at service I had a quiet little girl named Olivia. This is not the one who asked me if I smoked pot. That was the second girl whose name escapes me. Although I love all of these little bundles of crayon-loving goodness, I miss my first girl Shani, who actually told me she wanted to see me next week. In any case, they're all beautiful little sea lions.
Damn the internet, damn it to the fiery pits of Hades. I was totally speeding through past chemistry homework until I decided I had to document my understanding in a blog.
This week, I am memorizing:
Muy cerca de mi ocasa, yo te bendigo, vida porque nunca me diste ni esperancza fallida ni trabajos injustos, ni pena inmerecida
It means:
So near to my decline, I bless you, life because you never gave me false hope or work unjust or punishment undeserved
I am so proud of myself...I want to go on to Spanish 4 next year. It's something that clicks way better than maths or science, at least science as far as I've learned. People keep telling me that math is a language, which I can totally see. It's just not a language I understand very well. That's why we have to work hard, et cetera. But Spanish is something that's like BAM! I GET IT! Which is spectacular, given my horrific grades in every other subject right now. I mean...yes when I was little I understood and spoke it, my first Spanish word was when I was two, and it was "mariposa" meaning butterfly. Young age, educational sponge and all that jazz.
Speaking of all that jazz, I am craving watching Chicago right now. iTunes/Limewire, here I come!
Not that I'll able to listen to it either way, my father is in possession of my iPod, phone, and the laptop with most of the music on it. I guess I am impaired in some sense. But that is not for tonight, I refuse to ruin my good juju day.
Enough about myself, that's all I ever talk about ever.
I love Landon. I messaged him today to tell him that. I don't mean it in any huge crush way, the way I felt for five years. I mean it in the sense that he has always been a great friend to me and I hate to see him hurting like this, even though I haven't seen him since the funeral, and I want him to be happy. I know he's hurting and I wish I could help. I've let him know I'm here and that I love him and hope he's doing alright, and that's about all I can do now. I guess I'll just wait and see if he takes me up on it.
I cannot stress how much I love Burke for introducing me to Brett Dennen whom I also love dearly as of yesterday. I cannot stress how much I believe love will set you free. I cannot stress how much I believe peace is a reasonable solution. I cannot stress how much I believe that the human race is not an inherently violent species. I cannot stress how much I love Bolger and his class. I cannot stress how hard I am on myself right now. I cannot stress how little I'm doing about being so hard on myself or what I'm being hard on myself about. I cannot stress how much Ain't No Reason and GWB (Fuck You Very Much) describe my life right now. I cannot stress how my sister brightened my day today. I cannot stress how good that surprise Cupcake Royale cupcake made me feel. I cannot stress how mediocre I am right now. I cannot stress how I just realized a second ago that when I am unhappy I rely on my ability to love other people to improve it. I cannot stress how annoyed I am with myself. I cannot stress how anxious the situation with my parents makes me. I cannot stress how much I believe that the reason I'm so anxious is because he took everything away.
I just worked myself into a spiraling juju cycle right there.
Insomnia and Pink Martini.
I'm looking forward to the weight I'll gain and the moods I'll be in and the punishment I'll recieve for not sleeping.
This all feels so surreal. It shouldn't it's been this way it always has why would I think it would be any different today of all times now of all times in fact I only have two D's he was disappointed he was excited "I don't like doing this" why were you smiling when you did it really I don't believe you I don't believe you care I don't believe you understand I don't believe you know I don't believe you believe I don't believe I DON'T BELIEVE my efforts are futile there is no use arguing do not let me turn out to be you please God don't I refuse to be a blubbering mess I need to sleep I need to sing I need to sleep I need to sing I need to love I need to hug I need to do I need to relax I need to realize I need to underthink I need to overthink I need to read I need to speak I need to scream I need to vent I need to cry I need to get his smell out of this shirt my shirt smells like pot my hair smells like coconut and cigarettes my hands smell like lavender my room smells like Old Spice my bed smells like Reland my pillow smells like Orkila my blanket smells like summer. Daft Punk sounds like Miles sounds like what I wish I was involved in what I wish I had done what I had missed out on. Hot Girls In Good Moods sounds like happiness sounds miserable sounds like freshman year sounds like Ileana sounds like sex sounds like Colleen sounds like Australia. My stomach sounds like something missing something I can't quite put my finger on something I don't like something I don't want.
I need to try to sleep. I can't sleep. Goodnight.
English: sling hen
managed: aged man
understand: r tanned sun
Today at service I had a quiet little girl named Olivia. This is not the one who asked me if I smoked pot. That was the second girl whose name escapes me. Although I love all of these little bundles of crayon-loving goodness, I miss my first girl Shani, who actually told me she wanted to see me next week. In any case, they're all beautiful little sea lions.
Damn the internet, damn it to the fiery pits of Hades. I was totally speeding through past chemistry homework until I decided I had to document my understanding in a blog.
This week, I am memorizing:
Muy cerca de mi ocasa, yo te bendigo, vida porque nunca me diste ni esperancza fallida ni trabajos injustos, ni pena inmerecida
It means:
So near to my decline, I bless you, life because you never gave me false hope or work unjust or punishment undeserved
I am so proud of myself...I want to go on to Spanish 4 next year. It's something that clicks way better than maths or science, at least science as far as I've learned. People keep telling me that math is a language, which I can totally see. It's just not a language I understand very well. That's why we have to work hard, et cetera. But Spanish is something that's like BAM! I GET IT! Which is spectacular, given my horrific grades in every other subject right now. I mean...yes when I was little I understood and spoke it, my first Spanish word was when I was two, and it was "mariposa" meaning butterfly. Young age, educational sponge and all that jazz.
Speaking of all that jazz, I am craving watching Chicago right now. iTunes/Limewire, here I come!
Not that I'll able to listen to it either way, my father is in possession of my iPod, phone, and the laptop with most of the music on it. I guess I am impaired in some sense. But that is not for tonight, I refuse to ruin my good juju day.
Enough about myself, that's all I ever talk about ever.
I love Landon. I messaged him today to tell him that. I don't mean it in any huge crush way, the way I felt for five years. I mean it in the sense that he has always been a great friend to me and I hate to see him hurting like this, even though I haven't seen him since the funeral, and I want him to be happy. I know he's hurting and I wish I could help. I've let him know I'm here and that I love him and hope he's doing alright, and that's about all I can do now. I guess I'll just wait and see if he takes me up on it.
I cannot stress how much I love Burke for introducing me to Brett Dennen whom I also love dearly as of yesterday. I cannot stress how much I believe love will set you free. I cannot stress how much I believe peace is a reasonable solution. I cannot stress how much I believe that the human race is not an inherently violent species. I cannot stress how much I love Bolger and his class. I cannot stress how hard I am on myself right now. I cannot stress how little I'm doing about being so hard on myself or what I'm being hard on myself about. I cannot stress how much Ain't No Reason and GWB (Fuck You Very Much) describe my life right now. I cannot stress how my sister brightened my day today. I cannot stress how good that surprise Cupcake Royale cupcake made me feel. I cannot stress how mediocre I am right now. I cannot stress how I just realized a second ago that when I am unhappy I rely on my ability to love other people to improve it. I cannot stress how annoyed I am with myself. I cannot stress how anxious the situation with my parents makes me. I cannot stress how much I believe that the reason I'm so anxious is because he took everything away.
I just worked myself into a spiraling juju cycle right there.
Insomnia and Pink Martini.
I'm looking forward to the weight I'll gain and the moods I'll be in and the punishment I'll recieve for not sleeping.
This all feels so surreal. It shouldn't it's been this way it always has why would I think it would be any different today of all times now of all times in fact I only have two D's he was disappointed he was excited "I don't like doing this" why were you smiling when you did it really I don't believe you I don't believe you care I don't believe you understand I don't believe you know I don't believe you believe I don't believe I DON'T BELIEVE my efforts are futile there is no use arguing do not let me turn out to be you please God don't I refuse to be a blubbering mess I need to sleep I need to sing I need to sleep I need to sing I need to love I need to hug I need to do I need to relax I need to realize I need to underthink I need to overthink I need to read I need to speak I need to scream I need to vent I need to cry I need to get his smell out of this shirt my shirt smells like pot my hair smells like coconut and cigarettes my hands smell like lavender my room smells like Old Spice my bed smells like Reland my pillow smells like Orkila my blanket smells like summer. Daft Punk sounds like Miles sounds like what I wish I was involved in what I wish I had done what I had missed out on. Hot Girls In Good Moods sounds like happiness sounds miserable sounds like freshman year sounds like Ileana sounds like sex sounds like Colleen sounds like Australia. My stomach sounds like something missing something I can't quite put my finger on something I don't like something I don't want.
I need to try to sleep. I can't sleep. Goodnight.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
but compared to your eyes nothing shines quite as bright
What sweet lyrics. "Miserable At Best" by Mayday Parade.
My late-night forbidden phone conversations make me so much happier. I mean, I can't sleep anyway, so why not talk to people who can't sleep either?
I am full of indifference. What do those hissy fits teach you except how to cry? The futile the futile it outweighs the beautiful.
You know what I need to do? I need to start on the juju project again. That made me so fucking happy. Anyone who reads this who I've discussed it with, let's get on that soon, hmm? You're all so beautiful...let's do it.
It feels a lot later than 6:38 right now. I haven't had anything deep and insightful to say lately, mostly angsting and venting about things I can't talk about otherwise.
Yesterday was fantastic. I love International Day. We watched an hour-long video about Darfur and Mykaila moderated an amazing discussion about:
* Do you think that something like this could happen in a Western Country? Why or why not?
* Why is violence in Africa allowed when it would immediately be stopped in Europe?
* How effective is agreeing to an all African peace keeping force? Will they help or is it only help on paper?
* When does the international community have a responsibility to invade a country to protect civilians?
* That said the WHO estimates 150,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed does that mean we are obligated to stop killing civilians?
* Does it make a difference to have celebrities advocating for Darfur? Why?
* How does a western country choose where to send troops? Is it to protect its own citizens for global welfare or because the country has valuable something that is useful to Western country?
* Has the US become less effective in the UN since invading Iraq?
Regarding the first question, I brought up Native Americans and how genocide has, in fact, happened in Western countries. Not on a globally-aware scale, but it definitely has happened...massacres and reservations, essentially.
Anyway.
Homework time. Love.
My late-night forbidden phone conversations make me so much happier. I mean, I can't sleep anyway, so why not talk to people who can't sleep either?
I am full of indifference. What do those hissy fits teach you except how to cry? The futile the futile it outweighs the beautiful.
You know what I need to do? I need to start on the juju project again. That made me so fucking happy. Anyone who reads this who I've discussed it with, let's get on that soon, hmm? You're all so beautiful...let's do it.
It feels a lot later than 6:38 right now. I haven't had anything deep and insightful to say lately, mostly angsting and venting about things I can't talk about otherwise.
Yesterday was fantastic. I love International Day. We watched an hour-long video about Darfur and Mykaila moderated an amazing discussion about:
* Do you think that something like this could happen in a Western Country? Why or why not?
* Why is violence in Africa allowed when it would immediately be stopped in Europe?
* How effective is agreeing to an all African peace keeping force? Will they help or is it only help on paper?
* When does the international community have a responsibility to invade a country to protect civilians?
* That said the WHO estimates 150,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed does that mean we are obligated to stop killing civilians?
* Does it make a difference to have celebrities advocating for Darfur? Why?
* How does a western country choose where to send troops? Is it to protect its own citizens for global welfare or because the country has valuable something that is useful to Western country?
* Has the US become less effective in the UN since invading Iraq?
Regarding the first question, I brought up Native Americans and how genocide has, in fact, happened in Western countries. Not on a globally-aware scale, but it definitely has happened...massacres and reservations, essentially.
Anyway.
Homework time. Love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
